Monday, October 11, 2010

Small Packages: Scary Movies

So as a fat white nerd, I watch a lot of TV.  I mean a lot...sometimes I feel like Fry or Bender from Futurama.  And as such I really didn't think I'd have an issue with coming up with my favorite Halloween episode.  I mean I just say the Boy Meets World Halloween episode just a couple weeks ago.

And we all know and love those Treehouse of Horrors episodes of the Simpsons.

But I couldn't for the life of me point my finger on just one episode of one show from all those years of TV watching.  So, I'm going to talk about my favorite horror movie...


No really...I love zombies.  And most of all I love Romero zombies.  I think it all started with the Romero remake of Dawn of the Dead.  It's such a thoroughly complete movie that had me on the edge of my seat inside the first ten minutes.

There's something to be said for the for the power of a zombie child coming after you as you get out of bed.  I  think that first scene really hits home for me because that's the lifestyle I live.  The Translator and I are professionals, living in your generic suburban subdivision.  And in all this I can definitely see the Translator being the one to get away.

She'd abandon me in a second...even if she wouldn't admit it.

After the very tense bedroom scene...hehehe...we move on to the meat of the movie.  The shopping mall...this is where Romero's message becomes a lot more clear.  The zombies like cattle are drawn to the mall by "instinct".

Isn't it sad to think that when all your other faculties are gone, your urge to go the mall and consume will still not be sated?

Now admittedly, a mall is probably one of the best places you could hold up during the zombie revolution.

Yes...there THE zombie revolution.  Check the Bible people, it's gonna happen.

I mean lets think about it for a second, there's food in the food court, reinforced doors at all exits, surveillance, and then of course there's the entertainment.  So long as the power stays on you could play video games till to the food runs out and the zombies die of starvation.

When the Translator and I first saw this movie I was scared shitless.  I'm not even going to try to lie to you.  I had a hard time getting to sleep that night.

This one time...after Katrina hit....the wife and I were walking through the campus of the college we attended with a friend of ours.  As you might guess there was a pretty significant amount of damage on campus and the only lights around were the flash lights we had.

We'd checked out most of the campus and were heading back to our dorm (we lived in the married dorms...the 9th ring of Hell) via the path between the liberal arts building and theater building.  We get about halfway through the courtyard area and we start to hear creaking and chains rattling.

So my good friend and I...ONLY because we're both tall and have naturally longer strides...start walking faster.  Not a lot faster, just walking at what we would consider a normal gait.  The Translator...coward that she is...starts yelling at us for "abandoning" her to the zombies.

I still don't know what she's talking about...we were just walking.

Wow...this post kind of went down the rabbit hole didn't it?  What can I say...I like zombies and they've kind of permeated most aspects of my like.  Fortunately, one of them isn't my commute...yet.

To check out the other posts from the blogfest, check out the Translator's blog here.


Bretsyboo said...

you listen to me, and you listen to me right now.

go here

quite on topic. enjoy.

Sara said...

This sounds like exactly the kind of thing Andy would do. And I would probably run past and shove him down so the zombies got him first.

Our marriage is going to be a beautiful thing.

Witless Exposition said...

Having an exit strategy for when the zombie apocalypse happens is a must for any committed couple.

The Bear Monk said...

I don't have to run faster than the zombies...I just have to run faster then my dear wife.

Jamie Council said...

OMG!! I have to send you a copy of a paper a student wrote for me discussing the two different views of zombies. It was the most entertaining compare/contrast paper ever!!!

J.C. Martin said...

I do enjoy a bit of zombie horror when I'm in the mood for shambling corpses, but can't say I'm as big a fan as you! But yes, Treehouse of Horrors episodes of the Simpsons rocks!

Cristian0 said...

It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown! ...hmm... not eager of mentioning Southern Miss eh?

Jamie said...

Self-professed TV junkie here. Loved Boy Meets World, and that Dawn of the Dead remake was awesome!

Tere Kirkland said...

Love Dawn of the Dead!

My husband and I have actually discussed what we would do in the wake of the zombie apocalypse, and we decided to show no mercy.

Fun post. :)

Danielle said...

I love zombie movies, but it pisses me off when everyone dies at the end anyway. I loved 28 days later because they actually survived!

Monti said...

I'm a little lost when it comes to zombies. Halloween comes at the end of baseball season and the World Series, and I'm committed to that as far as TV watching is concerned! Enjoyed the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown show!


Ang said...

I have to agree with you here. Romero zombies are the most epic zombies ever to walk this earth.

Have you ever seen Fido? If not you should check it out. It's pretty hilarious and entertaining.

The Bear Monk said...

@Monti Me too!! Go Phils! I'm kind of rooting for the Rangers too as I now live in Texas, but it's mostly for selfish reasons. If the Rangers win the AL that means the Series will only be about 5 hours away and I'm pretty much willing to pay a lot to see the Phils play. Especially in the Series.

@Ang Of course we've seen Fido. The real question is...Have you seen Black Sheep? Now that is a disturbing horror flick. Hilarious...and totally disturbing.

KK Brees said...

Not into zomnies, but I do love vampires.

Ang said...

@The Bear Monk I have not seen that unfortunately. Will definitely have to check it out.

I recently bought a dvd called Survival of the Dead by Romero. I haven't watched it yet, but I hope it lives up to my expectations. We shall see...