Thursday, May 6, 2010

Another reason to call her the Translator...

I have recently come to the determination that I am married to, what is possibly, the only English major that doesn't sound pretentious or like a pseudo intellectual.

I mean really...what good is all this knowledge about literature if you can't relate it to life or your uninformed friends?

Being married to the Translator I've had my fair share of exposure to these people.  I never understand what's going on in the conversation, even if I've read that particular book, and I always feel like a damn idiot by the end of the night.

Is that the point of getting your masters or Ph.D. in English?

I'm not really sure what brought this to the fore front of my mind.

I guess I just hope those people with their aloof demeanor, realize what they're missing by leaving we lowly simpletons out of their conversations.

I enjoy the classics and I have opinions, though they aren't as eloquently stated as they could be.  I realize there's more to Jane Eyre then a simple love story.

I also realize that Shakespeare made a lot of dick and fart jokes.  And while that may not be the meat of the story that he's trying to tell it sure does make it more enjoyable.

So to you pretentious few I say, get the stick out of your ass.  Even Shakespeare wrote to entertain the peanut gallery.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Destined for Mahkery

Recently the Translator has taken a temp job doing some filing and data entry for a local business that provides several types of therapy.  As you can imagine this job is quite boring and monotonous.

However, she has come across quite a few names that are absolutely hysterical.  She's got a list of them up on her blog.  I'm going to focus on one that's not on that list.


That's right there is a child out there by the name of Mahkery.  

WTF were his parents thinking?  Is this supposed to be funny?  I mean it is pretty damn funny, but it's more funny "oh God" and less funny "haha".  Hopefully his parents are teaching him how to defend himself as I'm sure he's getting into fights over this on a daily basis.

I guess I'm not meant to understand the reasoning behind why parents feel the need to give these pseudo-unique names to their children.

"Oh my daughter's name is Jessica, spelled j e s s Y c a."

Wake up call.  That means your kid's name is Jessy-ca...retard.

And then there's names like Mahkery.  Did these parents not sit there and think to themselves "Hmm, that sounds like a real word.  Maybe I should look it up and find out what it means."?

Hopefully the next times these people try to decide on a name for their child, a good friend will be there to smack them in the head and take the joint away and say "NO!  I don't think Lemonjello or Orangejello or even Cherryjello is a good idea."