I've recently been bombarded with the subject of marriage. First, let me say that I have been married these past 7 years (almost) to a person I believe has made all my endeavors in that time worthwhile. She personifies everything I've ever wanted in a woman, she makes me a better person everyday and for that I cannot thank her enough.
With that being said...WTF marriage?
Maybe my ire should be more directed at broadcast television instead? Not being one to observe the subtleties of our society, it has recently come to my attention that, so far as television in concerned, I've never seen what could be considered a healthy marriage on TV.
In most cases the male role is filled by simpering, sex hungry idiots, who's only purpose is to be a screw up. This guy is of course balanced by some semi-level headed female character that is basically just dealing with said idiot and looking at sex like it's a chore.
Maybe it's just that I'm a man but can sex EVER really be that bad? I mean really...it's not a terribly complicated activity. There are more steps involved with doing the laundry then having sex. This isn't a chore...it's happy fun time. It's the icing on the cake. This is the one time in your life when you get to have your cake and eat it too...and that goes for both sides of the bed. Believe it or not, women like sex too. A crazy notion I know. But we men aren't the only ones with sexual appetites.
Just as a side note...I never understood that whole "have your cake and eat it too" thing. I mean what good is cake you can't eat? Am I right?
Anyway...I just want to know why we can't have a few good marriages on TV? There's plenty of humor to still be had at the expense of children or parents or even neighbors. I think the closest representation of a good and wholesome marriage is Homer and Marge Simpson and they've both had affairs during the 20 something years that show has been running.
It's no wonder that we have more then a 50% divorce rate in this country. Not even in our fantasy worlds can we see a good example of marriage.
However, according to shows like Friends, single life is a dream. You get to have wild monkey sex with every attractive woman you come across, with no repercussions and no complications. Lets be honest, sex as a single person is anything but uncomplicated. For some men it is a conquest and for some women it is an extremely emotional and expressive act that connects 2 souls forever...even if it is only the 3rd time you've met this person. Also, he keeps calling you Katie when your name is Katrina...oh and he left while you were sleeping.
Sex outside of a marriage isn't easier or more abundant. Lets relate this idea to something easier to think about...produce. Who's going to get a better yield at the end of the harvesting season, the scavenger or the farmer? The scavenger takes what he/she can get when they can get it. There are dry spells and there are times of great abundance. As for the farmer, he/she's got food in abundance all the time. He may seem to do more work then the scavenger, but his dry spells aren't as significant and generally he's got such as abundance of produce that he/she can sell the access.
And so it is with sex...well maybe not the selling part.
I know not every marriage is perfect...I've seen my share of heartache and pain. I am the product of a broken home. I watched my parents pretend, both for themselves and for others, that their marriage was a good one for fifteen years. When they finally got divorced I was happy. Maybe they now have a chance to be happy individually. Through all of that, I learned what I didn't want my marriage to be and I think I'm more well equipped for having dealt with that.
If I could give any advice to a person who is to be married (*cough* *cough* you know who you are) or even one that has been married for some time, it would be...Pick your fights. There are somethings that simply aren't worth fighting about. No it doesn't matter that she doesn't like blinds and wants to spend money on something that serves the same purpose but is "prettier". And no it doesn't matter that he wants to be cheap cheap cheap and not buy the nicer pants even if they are for him. Are square plates better then round ones? Who cares?
Another side note...my wife cares and by God so do I!! This one's not over yet dear, but I still love you and hopefully we can serve as an example of what a good marriage is or at least try anyway.