The Translater

In February of 2002, I was a loser.  It was plain to see that I had nothing going for me.  I was 20 years old still under my parents' roof.  I was not enrolled in college and had actually been recently kicked out of my first college for a low GPA (0.4...yeah I know).  I was also working a crappy graveyard shift job at one of the local casinos as a valet.

Okay...so maybe the job wasn't all that crappy.  For a minimal amount of work I got pretty good pay and I got to drive some really awesome cars.  I mean really awesome.  Once, just once, we got left the keys to a Ferrari.  More about that another day.

And last but certainly not least...I drove a Plymouth Reliant.  Also knowns as a "K" car.  This is easily one of the crappiest vehicles ever made.  I didn't have air conditioning or heat and surprisingly this helped when it came to the Translator.

I had basically given up on ever meeting any woman who would find me worthy of attention.  And to be honest, I felt like I didn't really deserve it anyway.  And then there was the Translator.

Now as pathetic as this may sound, I spent the vast majority of my free time at a community college that several of my friends attended.  Now it should be noted that I had previously attended this community college after the whole GPA debacle and so that is how I attained said friends.

Anyway...my home life wasn't great and as most teenagers I latched onto basically anyone that would except me.  At the time my buddy and the Translator's friend were dating and so we were thrown together quite a lot.  As proof of how small the town we lived in is...we spent nights hanging out in a local Waffle House.  Here I learned to love coffee and my future wife.  Not really sure about the order though.

Initially the Translator was spoken for.  Hopes dashed by what seemed like a long standing relationship, I resigned myself to the friend zone and honestly I think that actually helped my efforts.  I can remember feeling more relaxed and in that I was able to act...strike that...I was able to be more myself.

And thus my strategy to win the heart of the Translator was, not a strategy at all.

Not long after that I decided that it would be interesting to see the reaction of the Mrs. and make a little smoochyface (that's what we call it anyway) with another girl I'd known for a while.  For both myself and the other girl there was no intention of any kind of serious relationship and so I decided that my plan was a good one and executed it.

Now just to be clear, "smoochyface", is exactly what it sounds like...making out, necking, kissing, and that is all.  I may be a bastard...but I'm not a dirty bastard.

And so, for the first time ever, one of my plans worked.  The afore mentioned smoochyface got the Translator's attention and I became a topic of conversation.  Now I know what you're thinking, this sounds remarkably like a plan.

Well that's because it was.  After a few weeks in the friend zone I discovered that all was not well in the land of the Translator.  Her boyfriend, who was not living in the area because of his choice of school, was not well thought of.  In fact, the relationship quickly crumbled into a breakup.

And who's got two thumbs and knows how to pick up the pieces?

This guy!!

Actually...I was ambushed the day after the break up by my buddy and was told the time was right.

Now that I'm reading this a little...the Translator sounds like kind of a trollop.  However, we've all had an experience when we knew that a relationship was over before it really was and we simply had to wait for the catalyst with which to start the break up process.

A few days later, several of us were hanging out at a friend's house.  After a couple hours, Miss Translator's ride needed to leave and of course the Translator was opposed.  According to her, she was doing some significant flirting that I was completely unaware of and so I assume that was why she didn't want to leave.  So, I quickly offered up a ride home so that we could spend just a little while longer together.

So on the drive home, being February and lets not forget that I don't have heat in this car, it was pretty damn cold.  Like really cold.  It take about an hour to get to the Translator's house and being that long without heat isn't really a good thing.  So being the chivalrous idiot that I am, I handed over every jacket I had in the car.  Which of course the Translator took after many "Are you sure?"s.

Now here comes the part where you decide if I'm a very smooth talker of just an idiot who got lucky.

I must admit, I was physically shivering.  It was damn cold and my lack of a heater never seemed so annoying.  The Translator sees this and tries to give back one of the jackets which I refuse.  Instead I suggested, and I quote, "The only thing left is body heat."

I swear to God it worked.  How they hell that worked I don't know.  I'm not even sure I meant it to work per say, as it was basically true.

Anyway she snuggled up right next to me and wrapped her arms around me for the first time.  Admittedly it didn't really help with the cold, but man it felt really good.  It felt right.

After that night, we decided that we'd both like to see each other and the rest as they say is history or at least a tale for another day..

Now I'm sure you were expecting a bit of an explanation of why the Translator is the Translator.  Well the thing is, I'm a software developer.  A fairly specific kind of software developer.  I don't make games and I don't fix computers, which is basically all we computer types are supposed to do.  I create and maintain code in a system called SAP and one of the primary services the Translator offers me, is to explain what it is I do all day everyday, to those less fortunate souls who don't understand.  And so I have deemed her my Translator.

Nerd Anticipation Level High

As if you couldn't tell...I'm a nerd.  Glasses on nose and Computer Science degree in hand, most of my interests tend to be pretty stereotypical.  I like crappy fantasy novels, video games, and basically any movie that has lasers, comic book characters, magic, or zombies.

Yes zombies.  I'm not really sure why I love them so much...they just jump into my imagination and manifest into something that scares the crap out of me.  And I love it.

True story...The Translator (my wife,  I think this will be my name for her...thank you Mr. Badass Geek) and I went to see the re-release of Romero's "Dawn of the Dead".  When we got back from the movie we were still pretty jumpy and we decided that we need to indulge in something a little flowery...Bambiesque if you will...to help us calm down before we went to bed.

Armed with images of Bambi's grand escape and Thumper's blossoming family, we climbed into bed with the anticipation of a peaceful night's sleep.  We both got settled in and at that moment the air conditioner kicked on and the change in air flow caused the bedroom door to swing open slowly.

Now, it may have been my imagination but, the door developed a creek and in my mind a zombie was the on the other side.  Thing to know about the Translator, she can't sleep without the door to the bedroom closed.  Not really sure why...we didn't even have dogs at the time.

As the door must now be closed, we commenced with attempts to make the other get out of the comfort of the bed and close the damn thing.  Truth be told the test of wills is a daily event in our house, and it ranges from taking out the trash to getting up to let the dogs outside.  These tests have been known to last for days.

Yes days...we men shouldn't have to be submitted to the double standard of having the trash be our job.

Anyway, this particular test of wills was more intense then usual.  Basically, we were both scared that there was a little zombie girl on the other side of that door.

If you haven't seen Dawn of the Dead, one of the first scenes in the movie is basically this.  One of the main characters and her husband are woken by the sound of their bedroom door opening.  Bleary eyed they can only make out that it's the little girl that they are friends with from their neighborhood.  Of course there's some initial confusion here.  Upon rousing a little more fully, they see that the girl is acting strange and seems to be injured.  They of course fly into panic mode.  The husband leaps to check the wounds (both characters are nurses) and the wife frantically dials 911.  As you may be able to tell, this isn't going to end well for the husband.  The micro-zombie attacks and scores a fine bite to the jugular and the husband is down for the count.  The wife's mind being blown, she basically throws the child out into the hallway and closes the door.  She fights the losing battle to save her husband who, of course, has turned into a zombie.  He attacks, yada, yada, yada.

And in my mind my argument is, I'm not a damn nurse and I can't help the little zombie in the hall, outside our bedroom.  Therefore, the Translator should get up and close the door.  My cowardice at this point has become legendary in the house and I'm sure she will tell this tale for years to come.  Surprisingly, after a few minutes of arguing and me trying to justify leaving the door open, my cowardice prevails!!

You're damn right I made her get up and shut that door.  There's no telling what's under that bed or out in that dark hallway.

Anyway, back to my nerdy anticipation.

I saw the first preview for the newest Romero "...of the Dead" movie, "Survival of the Dead".  It actually looks like it'll be a lot of fun. The premise for this one isn't really all that clear in the preview but, upon some research it appears as though there's two families living on an island off the eastern coast and they're feuding during this wonderful zombie apocalypse.

There's also some talk of a cure for the undead.  I kind of like this relatively new angle (new for Romero at least).  It's a lot more hopeful then Romero tends to be.  The zombies in most films are simply an obstacle to be overcome and there is no hope of recovering their humanity.

Another source of extreme anticipation for me is the premiere of "Iron Man 2".  Lasers and comic book characters = PURE WIN.  I've been waiting for this one since the first time I saw "Iron Man".  Could Mickey Rourke look anymore awesome as Whiplash?  And what about Scarlet Johansson?  Smoking hot already and now they're gonna put her in skin tight leather?

Casting based strictly on looks for these two roles would be enough for me, but to top it all off, they're both amazing performers.  I can't wait.

And then, most importantly of all, WAR MACHINE.  Enough said.  I hate that they had to replace the original actor for Rhodey, but damn what a choice.  I can't think of anything I've ever seen Don Cheadle in that I didn't love.  I'm really ready to see him have some fun as War Machine.

As I side note...I'm really glad that they didn't decide to buy into the whole 3D fad...it's beginning to feel cheap and not special.  I hate that movies that were initially filmed for a 2D format have been getting shipped off to be made 3D.  Not only does it look like a cheap after thought, it feels insulting.  So far I've resisted seeing this brand of 3D (Alice and Titans).  I do have to say that, when 3D is done right it's really awesome.  Avatar was a beautiful movie, even if the story was a bit boring, and How to Train your Dragon was easily the best movie I've seen this year.

All in all May has me ready and raring for the theaters.  Alamo Draft House here I come.  Keep a pint of Guinness and a bowl of popcorn aside for me and the Translator.

When you get a blue screen you must reboot

As I said in my last post I hadn't really found a lot of things that have been bothering me enough to rant about.  Kind of feels like I've gotten the blue screen in my brain.  So I guess it's time for a reboot.

I'm not really sure I'll try to write about anything in particular, though I do feel some strange desire to share my thoughts in a general sense.

Recently, I had a craving for some popcorn.  Not that artificially flavored buttery microwave garbage, but some good old fashioned popcorn made in a pot with a little oil.  I gotta tell you, it was satisfying.  It's been years since I had popcorn that tasted that good.  I little bit of unsalted butter melted over the top and a bit of salt and it's like a ticket to my childhood.

That's right...I remember when we got our first microwave.  I'm an old fart.  An absurd thought...a life, a house, without a microwave.  But, that was my family when I was a little kid.  I grew up in my Grandmother's house with her and my mother as my primary caretakers and honestly (not counting the last 7 years I've been married) I can't remember a better time in my life.

Surrounded by my family...Aunts and Uncle and my cousin and second cousins, I never really gave any thought to the fact that I didn't have a father around.  Let me reiterate...best years of my life.  I remember watching some cartoons and going outside and playing with my 2 best friends (Ricky and Derek).  Things were simple and I was happy.

In that house I remember watching the premiere of the "Thriller" video.  I remember finding my first Playboy, in my Uncle Jimmy's drawer.  I remember the first pet I ever had....Cuddles and then Brutus.

In that time I learned to be who I am.  Admittedly, I'm a bit rough around the edges but, I am what I am, and for the most part I'm pretty happy with how I turned out.

I'm not entirely sure what the purpose of this blog will be from here on out, but I for one don't think that everything has to have a purpose.  Some things are better left unknown...because its the mystique of the thing that keeps us satisfied.

And so, I guess the new purpose of this blog will remain a mystery for me at least.  If you figure it out, please don't tell me...I'm satisfied with the way things are.

Peculiar President's Precedence or Mars > Education?

For the first time(for me anyway) and probably not the last...WTF Obama?

We can increase the NASA budget by $6 billion dollars over the next 5 years, but we're cutting education budgets?

I know NASA generates a lot of jobs for our country, but we're leaving our children in substandard facilities with underpaid and sometimes under trained teachers.

Isn't this the bigger of the 2 problems?

Maybe I'm just overly sensitive to our countries seeming lack of interest in giving our children a quality education.

I'm having a dry spell...much like Tiger's new social life.

I feel like I've hit a bit of a dry spell.  In this world full of stupid people doing stupid things, I haven't found anything recently that's really bugged the hell out of me.

It's kind of a shame...I was kind of enjoying my little expository adventure.  I felt like maybe, I was entertaining people, just a little anyway.  Oh well.

One thing I did see recently, which didn't really agitate me so much as entertain me, was all the speculation on how Tiger Woods' game would suffer now that he's come clean about his sex addiction.

Oh and the 14 women he shared it with that he wasn't married to.

How the hell does a golfer get 14 mistresses?

WTF homewreckers?  Don't you have standards anymore?  Don't you have a rock star you could be blackmailing?

Personally I don't see how NOT constantly having sex with 15 women and hiding it from each of them, could possibly have a negative impact on that man's already impressive game.

If anything he will change from the demigod of golf into the full fledged Golden God of the Links. 

He will smite or minds with his insane drives and destroy our perception of gravity with his amazing puts.  And when he celebrates his 18th hole in one at the next Masters, the angels themselves will descend from heaven to praise him.

And on the 3rd day he will say let there be light and....wait a second, I may be getting a little carried away now.

But really have you thought about how much effort it takes to hide something from one woman?  And he's managed to put us all to shame and make fools of 15 of them.  Shame on us for being lesser beings.  I mean, I nearly lose my mind trying to make sure I don't tell my wife what she's getting for Christmas.

Even if you discount all the stress and distraction that comes with deceiving 15 women at the same time, you still have to think of the sheer drain that actually physically having sex with all those women on at least a semi-regular basis.

I'd respect it if I didn't find it so despicable.  And revolting.  And just kinda gross, now that I've seen some of the porn stars.

I mean come on man...that's just not safe.

Plus your wife is smokin' hot anyway.

And then there's this Nike commercial they've recently released with Tiger's father lecturing him.  Does Nike really think this makes it all better?  Do they think this will improve an image scared by the faces of 14, shall we say, less then reputable, women?  Probably not.

Is Tiger 15 years old and just learning what social responsibility means?

The simple answer is...Nope!

He's an adult who, in theory, knows the difference between right and wrong.  Notice I said "in theory"...its really probably more of a hypothesis with him.

Hypothesis needs revision I think.

I do have to say, I think its ridiculous that he decided to make a public apology.  The only person that needed an apology was his wife.  Why should the man have to make up for his transgressions to people who will turn their back on him once he decides to stop playing golf?

You're fans...nothing more and nothing less.  Do you pay his bills?  Yes in a round about way, but does that entitle you to a stake in the rest of his life?  Do you let your boss lecture you about cheating on your wife?

Again...the simple answer is, Nope!

I just noticed how many times I've pointed out that the man had 15 women at once...I guess I'm just flabbergasted by the idea.  My mind is blown by the possibility.

Genre Deathmatch: Freddy and Jason VS. Jigsaw and Hostel.

WTF happened to horror movies?

No the "Saw" series doesn't count.  That's just grotesque torture porn.  Some images don't need to be seen and unfortunately can't be unseen.

Now seeing half naked teenages disemboweled with a machete the length of your arm...that's just good clean fun.

It seems to me that a lot of horror movies aren't trying to be scary anymore.  What happened to the tension and the stalking that the unseen killer created?  Just because you know who the killer is and what he's going to do to those unassuming teenagers doesn't mean that it's not scary.

The horror genre has turned into a Faces of Death shock fest...thanks Rob Zombie.  Next time you feel like making a movie like "House of 1000 Corpses" pick your guitar back up and write another song...please...for the love of God and all that is actually scary in movies.

Now I won't deny that some of our classic monsters from the slasher movies of the 80's needed a reboot.

Certainly Jason's story had gone way too far and by the 5th or 6th movie was just a joke and not really scary anymore.  I really don't think you can say that same for Freddy and Micheal Myers though.

I think the last decent slasher flick I've seen in a long time was the first Scream movie.  It had all the classic tenants covered and was fairly enjoyable to watch....especially that first scene where Drew Barrymore was hanging in the tree.  That brought back some classic Jason memories.

They may have been bloody and gory but they were cartoonish in that respect.  Blood simply doesn't shoot out of a severed head like a water fountain in Vegas.  The gore is hard to believe in these movies...unlike today's Hostel and Saw movies.

We did have that string of interesting Asian horror though...I really enjoyed both The Ring and The Ring 2.  Both were super creepy and a hell of a lot of fun to watch.  Those movies served to broaden my horizons in the horror genre.  Still some crazy supernatural killer but the little girls had a little extra weirdness that Freddy could never match.  And then they made The Grudge...which just didn't have the same level of creepiness to me.  Maybe it's because I expected Buffy to karate chop the little ghost child in that one.

And last but certainly not least we have the zombie movies.  We've had quite a few of them the last few years....some comedies, others absolutely terrifying.  I personally loved the remakes of Dawn of the Dead and Land of the Dead.  I also really enjoyed The Crazies.  Romero is just the master of zombie movies and I can't think of a single movie he's been associated with that I didn't love.  Oh and lets not forget 28 Days Later...what a great movie.  Too bad its sequel was so terrible...I guess we can't win them all.

All of these great movies in the last 10 years and not one of them was as successful as these "Saw" movies...have we really become blood thirsty psychopaths?  Are we simply entertained by the shedding of blood?  Can't we watch the news and see enough of that?  What's scary about a person falling into a pit of used needles?

It's gross...not so much scary though.

Now a giant guy you can't kill in a hockey mask...that's TERRIFYING.

...Did you guys tape a sign to my back again?

So there's this guy I work with...cliche, I know but, he's a pretty interesting guy.  My cube neighbor is a conservative republican type, and having recently come to realize that I have more liberal democrat leanings, I enjoy hearing his alternate point of view.

The thing I've noticed is that, even if I don't contest his idea, he is kind of confrontational about his explanation.

Do I give off an anti-Republican aura? 

Do I have some kind of sign that's on my back that only Republicans can see?

Is there some special Republican power that can sniff out a middle-left type person such as myself?

Actually, I think its more of a fundamentalist power...or maybe just an assumption gone wrong.  I generally ask questions because I don't understand a topic or opinion and not because I seek to find holes in an argument.

Now I won't lie, there are times when holes make themselves evident and those holes help to form my questions.  But isn't that how holes get filled?

Sadly, when I find these holes and ask these questions they are frequently filled with bullshit remarks like "I don't think that's what our forefathers intended." 

These are the same people that will piss and moan about the ten commandments being removed from a court house, when one of the major reasons our country was formed was to escape religious persecution. 

And then inevitably there's the argument that the forefathers themselves were Christians.  When in reality you can now purchase a copy of Thomas Jefferson's EDITED Bible. 

I don't know about you guys but, I don't know a single professing Christian today that would consider it acceptable to edit their Bible.  After all it is the ordained Word of God...or so some old guys have told us.

If this is acceptable than I'm cutting out that stupid covet part...not coveting your neighbors goods is just bad for the economy (thanks for the material George) and with the idiots we have running that show we don't need any extra "help" from God on this one.

Oh and lets not forget Benjamin Franklin's, shall we say...love of ladies of the evening during the years he served as our ambassador to France?

Not all Republicans are fundamentalists nut jobs though...a good friend of mine (http://www.joegamer.net/) and I have had several political discussions and while we tend to disagree on a lot of topics and we do get heated from time to time, we manage to remain friends in the end.

There are a few things that I tend to agree with when it comes to the conservatives though...for one gun control.

I do believe that the right to bear arms was created just in case the government loses it's damn mind, more then it has already, and tries to turn into a dictatorship.  However, I'm not really sure that they could have fathomed that we'd have weapons like AK-47 or any other automatic weapon for that matter.

Ok...I said "a few things" but, that's all I can think of right now.  I'm sure they've got some other good ideas though.  But you can read my complaints about the nature of the news media these days in my previous posts.

I guess what I'm trying to say is...why do we have to be so polarized in our political views?  Why can't we set the example that our legislators are so obviously lacking and learn to compromise?  Lets not buy into the idea that there is only one right way. 

I kind of feel like a dirty hippie talking like this...thanks Luke.

Oh...I almost forgot.  WTF Fundamentalists?!

Would you like a side Congestive Heart Failure with your Diabetes?

So recently I watched a show called Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution.  In the show Jamie Oliver basically tries to help some families and the school system in what is considered the unhealthiest town in the country.

I found most of the mouth breathers that make the decisions for the schools' menu to be simply despicable.  These people are more worried of cutting corners and making the most easily prepared meal to fit the guidelines set by the federal and local governments.

Regardless of what they tell you at those PTO meetings, they don't give a damn about your children.  They care about one thing and that's keeping their jobs and to do that they have to keep that budget small.  

Being a diabetic myself I know all about the unhealthy choices and how easy it is for me personally to make those unhealthy decisions.

I am overweight and out of shape.

I am a victim of my own laziness.

I am a fool for a good burger and some french fries.

But really, do french fries sound like a vegetable to any of you?  I mean seriously?  It's fried starch.  It's got nothing but carbs and virtually no nutritional value.

So...WTF parents?!?  That's right I said parents.

Why does it take a television crew to make these people see that stuffing french fries and frozen pizza down the throats of their children is a bad thing?

Would you feed your kid nuclear waste for dinner?

Would you take that three eyed fish you caught in Lake Michigan and fry that sucker up for lunch?

Road kill is still good for a few hours right?

The reason I don't lay the blame entirely at the feet of the schools is, because these parents should be more involved with their children.  Even if you can't send a lunch you've made yourself, shouldn't you be aware of what they're getting for lunch?

You ask them where they're going when they walk out the door don't you?  Why wouldn't you ask them what they're eating?  It is a basic function...and no, your children don't know a damn thing about what kind of food is good for them.

By God they know what food tastes good though.  Ask any kid what their favorite day of the week it is for lunch and I'm willing to bet nearly everyone you ask will say pizza. 

Pizza, that golden disc of awesome...is there anything good about it?  Really?  Lets see there's:

• Crust - Complex Carbs
• Sauce - More carbs with a dash of vitamins
• Cheese - Even if its all natural, and lets not kid ourselves about school pizza, it's got a ton of fat and oil.
• Toppings - When it comes to school pizza it's always pepperoni, and that's nothing but fatty meat by product.  So in theory there's some protein in there.

 So of all the ingredients in a frozen pizza you're children are getting a bit of protein, some vitamins, and a ton of carbs and fat.  I'm no nutritionist but I'm pretty sure that's not good.

Yeah...the polls are in.  Pizza gives you diabetes and a fat ass to boot.

Now I've eaten my fair share of frozen pizza, probably more then my fair share.  But even my fat ass knows that you don't eat that once a week, and certainly not served with french fries for a vegetable.

Over the last few months I've been thinking more and more about the future of my family.  My wife and I want to have children.  We don't want our children to make the same bad decisions as we have.

Hell, who am I kidding?  The bad decisions we still make.

But we're working on it.  We're aware of our bad decisions now and we can afford to do something about it and, for once, we are.  Today, I plan to follow my hour and a half of softball practice with a thirty minute walk/jog.

Practice may not be making me any better at softball but, I've lost about fifteen to twenty pounds since I've started and I feel good.

Why can't Friends be Married With Children and make Modern Families work?

I've recently been bombarded with the subject of marriage.  First, let me say that I have been married these past 7 years (almost) to a person I believe has made all my endeavors in that time worthwhile.  She personifies everything I've ever wanted in a woman, she makes me a better person everyday and for that I cannot thank her enough.

With that being said...WTF marriage?

Maybe my ire should be more directed at broadcast television instead?  Not being one to observe the subtleties of our society, it has recently come to my attention that, so far as television in concerned, I've never seen what could be considered a healthy marriage on TV.

In most cases the male role is filled by simpering, sex hungry idiots, who's only purpose is to be a screw up.  This guy is of course balanced by some semi-level headed female character that is basically just dealing with said idiot and looking at sex like it's a chore.

Maybe it's just that I'm a man but can sex EVER really be that bad?  I mean really...it's not a terribly complicated activity.  There are more steps involved with doing the laundry then having sex.  This isn't a chore...it's happy fun time.  It's the icing on the cake.  This is the one time in your life when you get to have your cake and eat it too...and that goes for both sides of the bed.  Believe it or not, women like sex too.  A crazy notion I know.  But we men aren't the only ones with sexual appetites.

Just as a side note...I never understood that whole "have your cake and eat it too" thing.  I mean what good is cake you can't eat?  Am I right?

Anyway...I just want to know why we can't have a few good marriages on TV?  There's plenty of humor to still be had at the expense of children or parents or even neighbors.  I think the closest representation of a good and wholesome marriage is Homer and Marge Simpson and they've both had affairs during the 20 something years that show has been running.

It's no wonder that we have more then a 50% divorce rate in this country.  Not even in our fantasy worlds can we see a good example of marriage.

However, according to shows like Friends, single life is a dream.  You get to have wild monkey sex with every attractive woman you come across, with no repercussions and no complications.  Lets be honest, sex as a single person is anything but uncomplicated.  For some men it is a conquest and for some women it is an extremely emotional and expressive act that connects 2 souls forever...even if it is only the 3rd time you've met this person.  Also, he keeps calling you Katie when your name is Katrina...oh and he left while you were sleeping.

Sex outside of a marriage isn't easier or more abundant.  Lets relate this idea to something easier to think about...produce.  Who's going to get a better yield at the end of the harvesting season, the scavenger or the farmer?  The scavenger takes what he/she can get when they can get it.  There are dry spells and there are times of great abundance.  As for the farmer, he/she's got food in abundance all the time.  He may seem to do more work then the scavenger, but his dry spells aren't as significant and generally he's got such as abundance of produce that he/she can sell the access.

And so it is with sex...well maybe not the selling part.

I know not every marriage is perfect...I've seen my share of heartache and pain.  I am the product of a broken home.  I watched my parents pretend, both for themselves and for others, that their marriage was a good one for fifteen years.  When they finally got divorced I was happy.  Maybe they now have a chance to be happy individually.  Through all of that, I learned what I didn't want my marriage to be and I think I'm more well equipped for having dealt with that.

If I could give any advice to a person who is to be married (*cough* *cough* you know who you are) or even one that has been married for some time, it would be...Pick your fights.  There are somethings that simply aren't worth fighting about.  No it doesn't matter that she doesn't like blinds and wants to spend money on something that serves the same purpose but is "prettier".  And no it doesn't matter that he wants to be cheap cheap cheap and not buy the nicer pants even if they are for him.  Are square plates better then round ones?  Who cares?

Another side note...my wife cares and by God so do I!!  This one's not over yet dear, but I still love you and hopefully we can serve as an example of what a good marriage is or at least try anyway.